You think you know... but you have NO idea!

2003-03-05T18:43:00.000-05:00

Wow... I just realized that I have not updated my blog in ONE MONTH! Damn! Anyway, it's SO great to be back... :0)
Well... what do I say? I have so much to say but the words won't come out. :S
Anyway, I've started working so I haven't had that much time to come online at home because when I get home I am SO tired... steups...
I promise though that I will devote ONE DAY to really updating my blog and stuff...

2003-02-04T15:35:00.000-05:00

Here's a poem I wrote today when I went to school with Rene... shows how BLASTED idle I am ent? LOL
Enjoy!

Food

Food :)-
February 4th, 2003

Food, food, oh Glorious food!

Just thinking about it puts me in the mood!!

KFC, Burger King or Island Grill...

Which one should I pick from to have my fill?

Oh crackers, cheese and strawberry jelly!

(Stop making that noise you dumb worm in my belly!)

I am so hungry I could eat a whole zoo!

On second thought I wont, it might make me poo!

Just the thought of it makes me feel happy,

(Good grief! Why am I acting so sappy?)

Aaargh! What to do? This class is killing me...

Mmmm... I think I smell someone cooking rice and peas!

Oh my God! I'm smelling things now...

Next thing you know, I'll think that Rene is a cow!!!

Quick, quick! I need to get out of this mood...

For I MUST HAVE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

2003-02-02T23:24:00.000-05:00

Normal day today... got up... went to mass @ 7am... came home... fixed breakfast for Dad... washed up... started dinner... slept for about an hour and a half... got up... ate dinner... watched t.v.
Boring huh?
Anyway, I wanted to spend some Q.T. (quality time) with Sean but alas, he was too tired after his wondeful trip to Montego Bay for the weekend... *sigh* So I decided to call Sticky to see if he wanted to go to the movies to see the Two Towers (yeah I know Im late but say wha) but that plan git squashed. *Sigh* I guess it wasn't meant for me to go anywhere this weekend.

2003-02-01T21:35:00.000-05:00

Well today has been a slow day so far... I woke up @ 11:30am this morning... went to the grocery for mom and then went to pick up my brother from swimming. Hopefully I'll be going out tonight with Sticky... I SO do not want to be home tonight... Right now I'm chatting with Candice (HEY GIRL!) and Rory on MSN. When I have more interesting things to say I'll come back and post it but right now, ah kinda speechless. (ah first eh?) LOL

2003-02-01T01:50:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah... I am also watching Kim Possible on Disney. Did you know that the Disney Channel and Cartoon Network are THE BEST channels ever created??? (Along with MTV2, MTV, BET and VH1)
Anyway, just thought I'd share that... laters!
PS. I miss Sean... he's in Montego Bay right now for the weekend. He and his Dad went to the Air Jamaica Jazz Festival... (a father son bonding trip)... *sigh* he should be here now...

2003-02-01T01:35:00.000-05:00

Friday was a L-A-M-E day. Why? I woke up with a horrible headache and I went back to sleep and slept until 2:30 in the afternoon. Then I watched t.v. until I got a phone call from Vanessa (my cousin aka my lil sis) telling me to come over and watch Minority Report on her DVD. I went over there and my friend Sticky picked me up. I was in the mood for a lil lime but I guess that wasn't happening... so I came home. At 11pm on a Friday night... steups... how LAME is that??? *sigh* It's times like these I REALLY wish I was in Trinidad... at least I'd be liming somewhere now and not stuck home. Yeah yeah yeah... ah have ants in meh pants... So I don't like to stay home... sue me. A friend of mine told me the other day that I should have been born Trinidadian because I act more Trini than Jamaican... is that bad??? Anyway, I don't give a rat's ass cause I prefer Trinidad and don't act like y'all didn't know that. From the first time I went there (when I was a couple months) an instant connection was formed. Anyway... right now I'm talking to Jenelle and Brent in NY... and Im seeing them via their webcam... I need to get one of those too. Brent is such a cutiepie! He looks just like his mom... (don't think that's a compliment Jen... LOL... KIDDING!) Jenelle is a cutiepie too!
Well... that's all for today... hopefully I WILL NOT be online at this time tomorrow because I hope to be liming!

2003-01-31T02:04:00.000-05:00

Oh... before I go to bed... I just wanna big up Inirt (J**)... girl I just want ya to know that when you need an ear... I'm here okay? Im a PM or email away...
Also wanna comment on Inirt's Triniscene dream...

"I dreamt Pookie invited us all to her house.
It was a big friggin' party.
Pookie had a lot of pink and green shoes. :?
And she knew my hairdresser Sharon.
There was also some girl on girl action.
Don't ask. LOL

De party was real good.
Met more TS-ers...
(Like I know what they look like right?)"

LOL... don't worry, ah go have ah REAL party at my house... in Trinidad! All of you guys are invited! :0)

Ah gone! Peace!

2003-01-31T01:55:00.000-05:00

Hope you enjoyed them! Good night!

2003-01-31T01:54:00.000-05:00

Here's the last one for tonight...

New Page 3

THE COLOURFUL RELATIONSHIP -
August 2002

I'm dying and it's because of you,

I'm crying for what is true...

With you I was in love,

while you wanted to be free like a dove.

Everyday a part of me left and went to join you,

And everyday from me, you withdrew.

I tried to spend time...

And all you did was deny.

Why did you even talk to me in the first place?

When all I seem to bring you is disgrace?

You claimed you never wanted to hurt me...

So why didn't you just let me be?

All these feelings built up inside,

and my love for you was matched with pride*...

Then all of a sudden things begun to look bleak,

And what was once strong immediately became weak.

What were once whispers of sweet nothings

became heated exchanges of words...

Things slowly became complicated,

love? hmmm... that was never again heard.

The day when I was to leave drew near...

oh yes, there were MANY, MANY tears.

I just knew at that point I had to let go...

but somehow, my love continued to flow.

Alas I left and it hit me then...

that I would never be with this person again.

Man oh man, I miss you...

don't you feel the same way too?

The relationship that started off with red and purple happy hues,

Now has ended with sad, depressed and lonely colours of blue.

2003-01-31T01:51:00.000-05:00

New Page 2

Time - March 2001

Time changes everything and
things are never the same again.

One minute, things are fine!

You feel all warm and cheery
inside and your days are full of luck.

Then, the next minute things
are distant, cold and not what they seem and you begin to think that life really
does suck.

Time the enemy, once time the
friend;

Has turned two close persons
into strangers, something that can't mend.

When time passes you learn
that life's once straight road has many bends, and that all that is lost can
never be regained in the end.

2003-01-31T01:50:00.000-05:00

Ok... Im gonna post two more poems tonight/this morning and then I should be done... enjoy! Caramelle, hope you like them...

2003-01-31T01:34:00.000-05:00

New Page 1

Alone - November 2000

Alone again.

Alone.

"Why does it always happen to
me?" I moan.

It's so frustrating to feel like
this,

And yet, in some strange twisted
way, my old life I do not miss.

I have all my new friends around me
everyday

But I walk as a stranger amongst
them in my own simple way.

They all think they know me, they
want to unearth secrets I hide.

"Just let me be!" I
scream, from all the emotions bottled up, deep inside.

With my family, as 'Smart' as they
all are, I try so hard to fit in; in my own way to reach for the stars.

They all think that life revolves
around A's, B's and C's, while I think life is about being the best that I can
be.

Even in my own family I feel like
an outcast with my tattoos, pierced ears and my messed up past.

One day all these feelings will disappear
and I know there will be nothing to fear.

I will never have to feel as dumb
as I do, never have to hear "She's better than you."

My knight in shining armour will be
by my side to defend.

And then, ONLY then, I shall never
be alone again.

2003-01-31T01:18:00.000-05:00

Well... today was a good day. I actually left my house for more than an HOUR! Whoo hoo!!! It felt so good to be outside... away from the 'rents and just 'parring' (chilling/liming) with my best friend. Unfortunately... my day kept getting interrupted by my phone stalker. Yes guys, I have a phone stalker. It's all my fault though... lemme explain... I've known this fella (name omitted so that a certain person **** won't seek him and beat him LOL) for a while and I happened to run into him at Village last week Friday. Anyway, we were having a great convo and he was like I lost your home number so can I have it again and then I was like I'll give you my cell number. Now, this guy is SO not my type but we had an interesting convo so I was like why not... anyway, the next day... he WOKE me up and was like "Hi Carole, can I come see you?" and I was like what the fuck? LOL I told him I was busy... end of story. He called me back THREE more times that Saturday... then he called me FOUR times on Sunday... FIVE TIMES on Monday... he gave me a break Tuesday and Wednesday but today... he called me @ 8AM and then 2 more times... now today I decided to disguise my voice the first time he called... and guess what? It worked! LOL Then the second time he called I gave Ren the phone and the third time he called I disguised my voice again. Anyway, I hope he gets the picture soon...

2003-01-29T17:46:00.000-05:00

Oh... the next time I update my blog I'll add everyone's links...

2003-01-29T17:45:00.000-05:00

I know Im not supposed to... but I HAD to put one more pic from my great times in Trinidad...
This was at the Poison Band Launching in October 2002. It's me and my hunny from TS... Sheldon. :o)
I put it up in honour of carnival... sniff sniff... which Im missing! WAAAAAAAAH!

2003-01-29T17:13:00.000-05:00

Here's the first one...

Emptiness

Emptiness

Empty.

Heartbroken.

Alone.

These feelings inside, no one
can ever know.

I wish that they could see all
the pain that’s around me.

Why am I like this?

Right now I feel like I’m in a
deep, dark abyss.

Swirling around in my own
emptiness, my own uncontrollable emotions.

I hate the fact that I cannot
cry, and yet, I know that sometimes I want to die.

It’s so hard to express all
the things inside that I’ve repressed for so long.

Am I wrong?

Am I wrong to keep all these
things to myself?

Who can I confide in?

Who can I trust?

How can I find out before I turn
to ashes and dust?

All I know is that I need to
fill this emptiness; to mend this broken heart…

And to no longer be alone.

2003-01-29T17:11:00.000-05:00

Ok... Im gonna post the first in a series of some poems I've written in the past three years...
Hope you enjoy them or at least identify with some of them.
Let me know what u think on my guestbook kay?

2003-01-26T09:14:00.000-05:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY COUSIN... Marsha!! :0) Love you girl! Also, a belated happy birthday to my wonderful friend aka my lil sis... Melissa Myers! *MUAH!*

2003-01-26T09:12:00.000-05:00

"Sometimes in our lives we all have pain
We all have sorrow
But if we are wise
We know that there's always tomorrow"
~Bill Withers~
^^^ - Words to live by...

2003-01-26T00:27:00.000-05:00

Ok seriously... I want a ONE WAY ticket to Trinidad. But, I need a job first and maybe an apartment... any offers? :0)

2003-01-26T00:10:00.000-05:00

For the past few days I haven't been updating my blog or even been on TS. Why??? Because my dad's home so things are a little bit stressful; plus I'm kind of depressed. *Sigh* I also have VERY limited time on the net these days so I can't even write what I want on my blog... *AAAAAAAAARGH!!!* This sucks BIG time!!!

2003-01-23T08:00:00.000-05:00

DADDY's HOME! Anyway, yesterday was my friend Ria's birthday and also my little godson Brent's birthday... HAPPY BIRTHDAY GUYS!!! *MUAH!* Apart from that, right now Im hearing Militant on the radio and I feel depressed. Why? Because Carnival is RIGHT around the corner and I won't be there unless some kinda miracle happens. *sigh* Anyone wanna send me a ticket??? Please???

2003-01-22T00:31:00.000-05:00

It works! It works!! Heh heh heh... thanks
for this useful info Crash! Now my Blog will be even MORE interesting... whoo
hoo!!! Gosh... this is SO ADDICTIVE and so stress relieving as well.

2003-01-22T00:21:00.000-05:00

New Page 1

Just experimenting with
Microsoft Front Page...

2003-01-22T00:06:00.000-05:00

Yeah... well right now Im just sipping on some Appleton rum and Mystic Strawberry and Banana mixed with Tru Juice Ortanique juice (tastes damn good by the way LOL} and thinking about my future... I mean, I know that before the end of 2003 I want to be in Trinidad for sure. But, how do I achieve that? I mean... today proved to me how blessed I am... I mean I was offered TWO jobs in ONE day!!! Do I just give that up all because I just want to be in Trinidad? Or should I stay here and be miserable for a few more years? *Sigh* So many decisions... and to me it seems like so LITTLE time. But everyone around me claims that I have ALL the time in the world. YEAH RIGHT! I want to do so many things before I turn a certain age, I have so many goals I want to achieve and honestly, right now I feel like Im not going a place. I wanted to have my bachelor's by the time I was 22, but I guess that ain't happening anytime soon. I get bored with things so easily... sometimes I feel like there's something wrong with me though my family and friends continually assure me that there's not. I mean, take for example, my friends from Triniscene, most of them seem like they have their life put together, like they're on the path to achieving there goals... and then there's me... the chick that's always drifting. There's Crash who definitely has his shit together... also Neo, Simmy, Porn$tar and a whole list of others... and I wonder why I can't get my shit together. There are also my cousins. Both in Trinidad and Jamaica... they all have their shit together. So do my friends... I mean half them are at UWI or abroad in bachelor's programmes while Im drifting from job to job aimlessly. *Sigh* I just needed to get that off my chest... I know some of you are wondering "Why didn't Carole-Anne tell me this was on her mind?" Don't worry... I wanted to vent on my blog... and you know what? I feel a lil better now. *PEACE OUT*

2003-01-21T20:23:00.000-05:00

PART IIAfter my interview I went to visit my old coworkers and bosses at Hilton. Only to find out that they would like me to come back to work for them. I was quite surprised! Anyway, I think I will take up the offer because they will be more flexible timewise. And plus, I wont have to leave Kingston! YAY! If I take it... I start the 1st Monday in February.

2003-01-21T20:09:00.000-05:00

Ok... let's talk about my interview... it basically went well. I wasn't nervous. The position that they were offering wasn't for me so I politely declined BUT the interviewer offered to call other places to see if anything was available for what I wanted! What a sweetie! Anyway, he called the places and basically I should be hearing from them on Thursday. Stay tuned for Part II! Coming up in a few!! LOL

2003-01-21T19:25:00.000-05:00

Congrats to Porn$tar!!! She is now a MOD on TS! Whoo hoo!!
:0)

2003-01-21T16:45:00.000-05:00

I was gonna tell you guys about my interview but Im going to the hospital for a while... when I get back... :0) I'll give you a hint... my day was rather good. (wink) Oh... and thanks to Syndy and Rene who called me today... y'all made my day! :0)

2003-01-21T08:17:00.000-05:00

Ok... Im just making a REALLY quick post... Im actually getting ready for my interview today... and Im not really nervous... which is QUITE surprising... anyway, WISH ME LUCK!!! :o) Yeah... I know I said I don't really want the job but I DO want to make a good impression. I'll fill you in later!

2003-01-20T13:07:00.000-05:00

Next time I update there will be a surprise for all of y'all... :0)

PEACE OUT...

2003-01-20T12:56:00.000-05:00

Hey guys... 'sup? I think Im doing rather well with this blog... don't ya think? Anyway... right now I'm tyring to set up a web counter... and with a little help from all my people (i.e. Crash, Porn$tar and Chineebizkit) I think I'll have a great little piece of the web all to myself... :o) It's kinda like decorating your dreamhouse... Cool huh?

2003-01-20T00:06:00.000-05:00

While I'm at it... I just want to send some sunshine and warmth to all my friends in the States, England or Canada. Especially to Richard, Kiola, Coleen, Miko, Jason, Nadine, Jenelle... KEEP WARM GUYS!!!
(Hi Ren!)

2003-01-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

I want to take this oppotunity to thank Chineeebizkit and Porn$tar for helping me out SO MUCH with my blog!! Props to you guys!!! :0)
*MUAH!*

2003-01-19T23:45:00.000-05:00

GRRR... why is everyone else who has logged in for me seeing a different template and Im seeing the same damn thing!!!
Dammit!

2003-01-19T23:27:00.000-05:00

Man... this blog is annoying me now... damn template STILL wont change!!! STEUPS!!!!!!!!!
Let's see if this works now...

2003-01-19T21:54:00.000-05:00

Ok... I lied... sue me! :0) This is Qila and I again wining on some fellah... LOL and then there's the rest of my cousins enjoying themselves... @ CRIBS! Best party of 2002!

2003-01-19T21:35:00.000-05:00

Ok... one last pic until I get some newer ones... this one was taken at Fed Up... it's my cousin Aqila and I... not exactly my best picture but whatever... I had a BLAST! I miss Trinidad!

2003-01-19T21:33:00.000-05:00

Ok... this was at T.G.I's anniversary thingy... this is where I met Neo... :0) There's that darn blasted cigarette again! See? I tried to hide the damn thing... LOL... no more I tell ya!

2003-01-19T21:30:00.000-05:00

Ok... this was my FIRST party for the Christmas season... CHILDREN OF THE EIGHTIES! Whoo hoo! (See the cigarette??? No more of that!) :0) Talented... we soon get smoke free for life yuh hear?

2003-01-19T21:28:00.000-05:00

Again at Cribs... this time it's me and my cousins getting on baaaaad... LOL

2003-01-19T21:25:00.000-05:00

This was at Cribs... me and my friend Russell. :o) (Yeah I was slightly drunk)

2003-01-19T20:37:00.000-05:00

Oh yeah... forgot to mention... I have a job interview on Tuesday morning with Superclubs (the hotel chain that includes Hedonism II & III). I dont really wanna get this job though cause it would mean working outside of Kingston and plus remember I mentioned Im not into Hotel Management anymore... What's a girl to do???? Help!

2003-01-19T20:06:00.000-05:00

Aight good people... it's Sunday... Natasha's birthday... and guess what? I saw my Dad today. First time since his surgery and he looks GOOD... :0) Anyway... just wanna big up some persons like Ms. Jenelle Hospedales and Brentypoo... I miss them terribly. :0( *MUAH!* Love you guys...

2003-01-18T22:37:00.000-05:00

Ok... it's Saturday night... I'm home... Sean's not here... I AM BORED!!!!!!! Anyway, just updating my blog... slowly BUT surely...
Oh! In exactly TWENTY MINUTES (Trini time) my #1 buddy in the world... Natasha... will be celebrating her birthday! So... this post is in her honour... I love u cow! :o) *MUAH!*

2003-01-17T22:34:00.000-05:00

Hey Y'all... this is my second post... and so far I've gotten some good feedback. :0) I have to spend more time on the net (with a FAST connection) to really fix up my blog! Anyway, right now I am really in a great mood! Wanna know why? I discovered that there are STILL people in my country that have a heart! How did I come to that conclusion? Well, most of you all know that my Dad just had an operation to remove his prostate cancer right? Anyway, since my Mom's been up and down between home and the hospital, a friend of my Dad's... actually an old coworker... called me up this morning and was like "Carole-Anne, come with me to the grocery to get some stuff for your house" so I was like okay. So we went and she spent almost $6000 JA ($700TT) and afterwards she was like "This is for you mom and dad from me, with love." I was speechless... and I ALMOST cried...
Anyway, today I learned a very important lesson... that there are people in this world that are so completely unselfish and caring that they just are so amazing... (forgive me, Im still in awe)
Later!

2003-01-17T08:56:00.000-05:00

Well... I am finally a "blogger". LOL It's so great to have a little piece of the web all to yourself. Anyway, most of you viewing my blog today know me from the Triniscene Forums as Pookie (now Cary). Since this is my first real post, I'll give you a little background info. I'm twenty years old... will be twenty one on the 13th July (dont forget!). Anyway, I just graduated from the Trinidad and Tobago Hospitality and Tourism Institute with my Associate Degree in Hotel Management. Unfortunately, I don't want to continue in this field... I'm thinking of switching to Promotions/Advertising. Actually, my short term goal is to move back to Trinidad, get a job and do some courses part time. So, if ANY of you know of any job openings... email me nuh? :0)
Oh... and another thing... I know some of y'all think I am Trinidadian... but by your definition, I'm not. I was born and raised in Jamaica to a Trinidadian mother and Jamaican father. However, I do have a Trinidadian passport and I do have dual citizenship. My parents believed in giving their children the opportunity of growing up knowing two cultures.
Errr... I think that's about it for now... Can't wait to write some more! Peace! :o)